Panama...

Cuando me fui,

Me lleve nuestra vida

Nuestro pasado

Quedaste dentro de mi

Como algo encerrado,

En las noches vuelven los recuerdos

Las nostalgias de aquel pasado, aquellas noches de cafe

Cuando pienso en ti

Siento en mi boca

El gusto de chocolate amargo,

Cuando deseo acariciar tu pelo

Solo logro tocar mi almohada,

Y un vacio me llena

Por dentro, cubierto de esperanzas,

De volver a tenerte aqui,

Aqui dentro de mi pecho

            

                        - Nostalgia, Carlos Alberto Garcia

My future guitar. A Fender Strat!!!!

I just discovered this girl on youtube. Her name is Becca and she does absolutely fabulous covers for some of my favorite songs. Check her out

Just thought I'd post.

UPDATE!!!!

I just bombed my math test. I KNEW I shouldn't have forgotten my calculator.

Uh oh!

Got a math test in a few minutes. And I totally forgot my freaking calculator!!!!

*Sigh*

So for the past few days I’ve had no life. College gets much more time consuming as the days go on. But with quick calculations a few days ago, I figured out that I’ll probably finish college in 3 1/2 years, maybe even 3. Then there’s also the idea that I want to minor in Philosophy so things might change. Who knows? But a B.A in Criminal Justice in 3 years will be GREAT!!!!

The question is…can I do it though? I mean I’ve been taking 15 credits each semester. I’m a sophmore in college and so far I’ve been able to handle all of the work, but next year I’m jumping to 16 credits. It may not sound like alot but the difference is MAJOR. I’m taking all core classes next year and in college terms that means…. NO LIFE!!!

Oh well, it’s for my future so it’s worth it. Wish me luck though =)

 

That’s how I feel….lol

I need... You

What are you to me?
Are you the immaculate personification of my wet dream?
The one I see when I close my eyes visualizing hands sneaking up my thighs?
Caressing my inner sanctum
Telling me that you can make me feel better when you like them
Saying your the one for me
Spreading lies of emotional pies filled with the cream of pain, topped with the whimper of my cries
I...
Need more than just your word, your touch, your false love
I need more than just the look in your eyes when you catch a glimpse of my thigh
The catch in your voice when I don't give you a choice
Because my shirt spread just a bit too much tempting you to touch
Because my lips glimmered in the moonlight making your insides shine bright
Because my hips shook and shimmering hitting the spot, making you grow hot
NO...
I need your soul, touching mine willing it to grow
I need your faith in me, in the woman that I will be
I need your inner light shining just a little too bright
I need your shirt spreading just a bit too much tempting me to touch
I need your dominion, not giving me a choice just to hear that little catch in my voice
I need...
You
Not the text message version, picture mail sending, email writing, once in a while I'll give you a smile type man
I need your heart in my hand
The beat that I live to making me want to rumba in my living room type man
I need...
You

Moment of Realization

I'm not the most expressive person when it comes to showing emotions verbally. I just can't do it for some reason. Love?? Are you kidding? I choke on the "L" part alone. It sucks for those who are in a relationship with me because they are practically suffocating themselves when they say "I love you". The three words that I dread the most.

So why am I like this you may ask? Well, I guess it's because I was brought up in a "guy's world" so to speak. Emotion is like a downplay for them. If you show emotion, then you're weak. If you so much as think about weakness, then you're a waste of time. It's harsh, yes, but the neighborhood I lived in required a little toughness. So, here I am today writing down that I can't express emotions or else I feel like a sap. It's disgusting to some people but normal for me. I mean, I even go as far as to reject hugs from family members (of course, I'm only playing around). And when I do hand out hugs, the people I give them too are extremely shocked and the first thing they ask me is "what's wrong with you? Are you on drugs?" lol

What's my point? Well, I was riding on the bus today on my way to school and an elderly woman came aboard. She had to use the lifter that they use for the handicap because she couldn't walk properly. She needed the aid of a walker. Well, when she was aboard the bus and seated comfortably, she waved to someone outside. And she smiled. It was such a huge smile. It reached her eyes, which twinkled. I followed her line of vision and saw an equally elderly man waving back at her. And the look in his eyes matched that of hers. They were happy but most importantly, they were in love. And they weren't afraid to show it.

I was deeply touched by this because I saw for the first time that love is actually timeless. And though they didn't verbally express there love, it was still visible on their faces. So for me to see that and to see that they were comfortable with it, I felt that I could be comfortable with it too. I can learn to be a bit more emotionally expressive (more so verbally) and that it is perfectly okay to have a moment of vulnerability here and there. Not everyone is as tough as they appear to be (me included).

So from this day forward, I'm vowing to be more verbally expressive. Starting with a simple "I miss you, dad" or 'I miss you, mom" here and there. Hopefully, I will be able to get pass the "L" in love and actually flow through the whole word without a problem.

Hopefully... :)