Amazing

Can't really explain what I've been feeling ever since I've started talking to you. But you're simply amazing. You make me feel things that I thought only existed in fairytales. You ARE a fairytale. Right now, I'm writing this as we talk and I can't help but smile. Seeing your face in my mind's eye. You're beautiful. Gorgeous. Unbelievable. Immaculate. I can go on describing your wonderful qualities but none of my words can add up to the real thing. Your true worth. I mean, damn. Where did you come from? How did I get so lucky? I can't continue writing this without feeling an overwhelming sense of joy just because I'm lucky enough to say that I know you. And I do know you. But I want to BE you. Have my moment with you. A moment where we are one. Even if it is for a brief second. I'm sure as it happens, it'll feel like a lifetime of bliss. No one has made me feel as if I can write again. And I haven't written about anyone in a long time. That means you're special and in your case that's a true understatement. I'm going to stop here because I can go on forever about this. Just know that I thank you for being the man that every woman has always wanted to find. A man who I'm lucky enough to say is my dream come true =) Possibly, anyway :-P

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Better Without You (Melody inspired by "Anhayla")

Verse 1:
I've waited for you for so long
Waiting, pacing and pacing
Time is not on my side

And all this time I thought I was grown
Standing by the phone
Hoping to see your name again

Bridge:
Maybe this is how it's supposed to be
I thought you'd always be here with me
And now as I watch the clock
I only wish for time to stop

Chorus:
(So I...) can regroup
I think it's about time I got over you
You didn't deserve me
But I stayed 'cause I thought that you loved me
But now it's my time to fly
I hope you know that I realized
That it's only up to me
I want you to see
I'm better without you

Verse 2:
A thousand times I've cried
For your love
But now I've dried my eyes

My strength comes from within you see
I've made it hard for you to control me
And now you plead for me to come back again

Bridge:
Maybe this is how it's supposed to be
I thought you'd always be here with me
And now as I watch the clock
I only wish for time to stop

Chorus:
(So I...) can regroup
I think it's about time I got over you
You didn't deserve me
But I stayed 'cause I thought that you loved me
But now it's my time to fly
I hope you know that I realized
That it's only up to me
I want you to see
I'm better without you

Refrain:
Baby, I know
That you never loved me at all
But I've broken away from the pain
I've learned to spread my wings

Chorus:
('Cause I) gotta regroup
I think it's about time I got over you
You didn't deserve me
But I stayed 'cause I thought that you loved me
But now it's my time to fly
I hope you know that I realized
That it's only up to me
I want you to see
I'm better without you

Smile

"Why do we close our eyes when we sleep, when we cry, when we imagine, when we kiss? Because the most beautiful thing in the world is unseen."

 

“Smile, even if it's a sad smile, because sadder than a sad smile is the sadness of not knowing how to smile.”...

...Interestingly enough, people never knew that.

I woke up this morning, completely drained. School has gotten me so worked up that it's unbelievable. But once I looked in the mirror, I pasted a smile on my face. Though I was tired. Though I probably looked like hell. I couldn't help but smile. Why? Because it makes me feel so much better.

It's amazing how something so simple as a lift of the corners of your mouth can light such a huge fire right under you. It warms you up and makes you feel whole again. It gives you the power to move on through the day, even though you're so exhausted emotionally and/or physically.

Maybe that's all we need. People talk of all of these special things like material things and relationships. Yes, those things are important to some people. They too can help you out when you aren't feeling too well. But what if you don't have that? What if all you have to rely on is yourself? What happens then?

At a moment such as that, people tend to quit and give up on happiness. But I feel sorry for those that do, because all they need is a simple smile. One look in the mirror is all it takes. Once they see that smile on their face, whether it's forced or genuine, they'll feel so much better. It might take a few looks, but who cares? A few moments to reflect upon what you can offer yourself is worth it.

Life and Love

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

-- Judy Garland


God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
-- Reinhold Niebuhr

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-- Marianne Williamson



So I've written a few songs lately. All with the same theme.

Living Life

It's easier said then done, really. Life throws so many obstacles in your way that eventually you fall to your knees and plead for things to end. You give up. You give in. What we don't see is, that's the coward's way out. Life is a gift. It should be appreciated. No, you didn't ask to be here. No, life isn't always easy, but who cares? You're alive. Make the best of it.

Something to think about: If life was easier, would it still be as enjoyable and adventurous as it is?

Doesn't this make you want to smile?

Melissa Polinar. Amazing

Phoenix

Inspiration seeking, fluffy cloud dreamer
I watch the movie speed up, rewind then pause
At a frame so dark that it's impossible to see
The white lines flowing across the screen
I look within, putting my face so close and I see
The snowy white flakes staring back at me
Chills and goosebumps run down my spine
Are those thoughts really mine?

Stage writer, scratched notebook redeemer
I can't believe I let it get this far
Before I could finally see the pain within her
Pause at the tear streaming down her face
The water and heartbeat race
Emotion streaming, sadness clinging
Isn't it scary how close to heartbreak you're being?

Optimistic speaker, strong willed liver
Soften the silence within
It isn't easy being so breakable
It's even harder being so predictable
Mark the spot where you lay
Crying on the floor for days
It's always possible to break sadness's hold
Speak up, let it out
Pent up emotions driving you to shout

Phoenix inspired, red winged dipper
Now's the time to be reborn
Back away from the screen and learn to redeem
Who you were, for the better
It's written all down for you in a scarlet letter

Inspiration seeking, fluffy cloud dreamer
Stage writer, scratched notebook redeemer

Optimistic speaker, strong willed liver
Phoenix inspired, red winged dipper
Now's the time to be reborn

Back away from the screen and learn to redeem
Who you were, for the better
It's written all down for you in a scarlet letter

Wow

I just realized yesterday that I haven't been on my blog in a while. That's totally my fault of course. I was busy with school and things. But then again, I had a month vacation. So yeah, no excuse there. But here goes.

My plan today is to finally unlock the inner thinker/poet in me. I've had that part hidden for so long because I really didn't know how to express myself without sounding stupid. <--- My own words of course. Everyone encourages me and tells me that I have a beautiful mind, but I don't see it.

Insecure much???

I bet no one would've ever thought that some one could be insecure about things in their head. I mean it's in your head??!!! But any whoo, I bought a composition notebook today. Time to write everything down. Even as I'm typing this up, I feel so much better. So much free-er <---awkward lol

But I've seriously missed this feeling and I'm so glad it's back.

I can't promise that I'll continue to update my blog like I'm supposed to but I can promise that I will update my new notebook.

Well, that's another one under the flowerpot. Time to unzip and step out of this old raggedy costume and breathe in the new of air of life. Welcome to my world. Freedom is bliss :)